Supporting Our Kids Through PDA Autistic Burnout
I’m back, baby! Season 2 of the podcast—here we go! After a long pause, I’ve been feeling the pull to start podcasting again.
In this episode, I talk about supporting my kids through PDA autistic burnout. What even is PDA autistic burnout? What does it look like? What strategies were helpful? And what does life look like now that we’re (mostly) on the other side?
Covered in this episode:
[00:00] - I’m Back! Why I Took a Break from Podcasting. What’s New?
[04:30] - What Is PDA Autistic Burnout and What It Looks Like
[08:55] - Strategies for Supporting Our Kids Through PDA Autistic Burnout
[09:26] - Getting an Accurate Diagnosis Matters
[13:52] - At Peace Parents’ Paradigm Shift Program Review
[15:04] - Inner Work and Self-Care for Parents
[15:47] - Low-Demand Parenting: Reducing Pressure for PDA Kids
[20:58] - Structural Changes That Made Life Easier
[21:52] - Leaning into Child-Led Learning
[22:49] - Life After PDA Burnout: Our New Normal
Navigating a season of burnout was incredibly difficult, exhausting, and isolating. If you’re in the deep end of it right now, I’m sending so much love and light your way. I hope this episode brings you hope—and helps you feel a little less alone.
More of a reader? I got you.
(You can also read the transcript on the player above.)
I’m Back! Why I Took a Break from Podcasting—and What’s New
The last podcast episode was in July 2024. Then… life happened. I started an online course, and trying to juggle caregiving, client work, coursework, and this podcast just wasn’t sustainable—so I paused.
In October, I ended up taking a full-time corporate job. Totally unplanned—it kind of just fell into my lap and sounded fun. It’s been a cool experience, but also a lot.
Lately, though, I’ve felt the pull to start podcasting again. I love the connection. I love when someone listens and reaches out to say, “Same.” It makes parenting and living with chronic conditions feel a little less isolating.
Last time, I spent hours writing a script, making sure every part was perfect. This time around, I just don’t have the time. So I’m keeping it simple and a little less polished—and we’ll see how it goes.
What Is PDA Autistic Burnout—and What Does It Look Like?
Not everyone’s familiar with autistic burnout, so I want to take a second to explain how I understand it—especially in PDA kids.
Anyone can experience burnout, but autistic people are particularly vulnerable because society often isn’t built to support their sensory and emotional needs. For PDAers, any demand—internal or external—can trigger a stress response. When that stress builds over time, their nervous system can get stuck in a kind of freeze state.
For PDA kids, this can look like intense meltdowns, struggles with sleep and eating, toileting regressions, hygiene avoidance, and refusal to leave the house—or even the couch.
Strategies for Supporting Our Kids Through PDA Autistic Burnout
Getting an Accurate Diagnosis Matters
Our first attempt at a diagnosis wasn’t the best. The evaluator was dismissive, invalidating, and made assumptions based on a single short appointment. It was frustrating and didn’t give us the full picture.
A couple of years later, I stumbled across a podcast about PDA—and everything clicked. I cried through every episode because it finally felt like someone understood my parenting experience.
Once I suspected PDA, I knew we needed someone who was PDA-informed and trained. Since PDA isn’t officially recognized in the U.S., finding the right provider was tricky. Eventually, we found an amazing neuropsychologist across the country who could see patients in Arizona through Psypact. Everything was done virtually, but the evaluation was incredibly thorough. She gathered tons of data—multiple sessions with us, one-on-one meetings with each of the boys, and lots of online assessments and forms.
It was a lot—but so worth it. Finally, we had answers. And with answers came a new way forward. Everything shifted from that point on.
At Peace Parents’ Paradigm Shift Program Review
Shortly after the diagnosis, we signed up for the Paradigm Shift Program from At Peace Parents. A fellow PDA mom created it to offer the kind of support she wished she had and to support families like ours.
The lessons and coaching helped us understand PDA more deeply—why traditional parenting strategies backfire, and what to try instead.
Honestly, it wasn’t about changing my kids—it was about changing me. How I parented. How I responded and interacted. It was life-changing and helped me show up in a way that actually supported them.
Inner Work and Self-Care for Parents
The next step was working on myself. I began weekly sessions with a coach for thought-work, and I started going to therapy regularly. Over the past couple of years, I’ve done a lot of inner work—and honestly, it’s changed how I show up.
When I’m more grounded, there’s less stress in our home. And I’ve seen that my autistic kids are incredibly sensitive to energy and the emotional tone around them. So when I care for myself and regulate my own nervous system, it helps everyone—not just me. My kids feel it.
Low-Demand Parenting: Reducing Pressure for PDA Kids
One of the biggest shifts we made was leaning hard into low-demand parenting. If every demand triggers fight, flight, or freeze, it makes sense to reduce demands wherever we can.
Obviously, we can’t eliminate every demand—their bodies still give them internal cues to eat, sleep, and use the bathroom—but we looked for ways to soften how those needs showed up. Instead of saying, “It’s dinnertime—come eat at the table with the family,” we can visually offer food throughout the day without any verbal demands or words. This reduced the intensity of hunger cues and gave them the freedom to choose if and when to eat.
We stopped trying to force things. Then we got creative about meeting our own needs without asking too much of them. For example, I couldn’t leave the house without someone melting down. So, I started waking up early and sitting outside on the patio for some quiet time before the day began. It didn’t fully fill my cup, but it added a few drops—and that helped.
We also lowered verbal demands, offered real choices, and got honest with ourselves about whether we were offering true drops—or still communicating pressure through tone or disappointment. It was hard. But it helped a lot.
Structural Changes That Made Life Easier
Alongside the emotional and behavioral shifts, we made practical structural changes too.
One of the biggest was switching my son from multiple daily insulin injections to an insulin pump. He hated getting multiple shots a day. With the pump, he only needs a site change every three days, and insulin is delivered with the push of a button. No more negotiating or wrestling over every dose. It gave him more freedom to eat when he wanted, without the added pressure of another shot.
That alone significantly reduced daily stress—for him and for us. Sometimes it’s not just emotional strategies—it’s the structural stuff, too, that helps lighten the load. The pump wasn’t a magic fix, but it absolutely made life more manageable.
Leaning Into Child-Led Learning
During burnout, my kids could barely manage basic life tasks—so pushing academics was off the table. Instead, we leaned into child-led learning.
We followed their interests and supported learning in ways that felt accessible. For one of my kids, the only thing he could engage with for a while was LEGO. So we leaned in—hard. Lots and lots of LEGO.
And that opened up a whole world of learning—all in a way that worked for his overwhelmed nervous system.
Time to Heal
Most importantly, we gave them time.
The body needs time to heal—and so does the nervous system. We slowed everything down and let healing be the priority. Over time, things started to shift. Not overnight—but gradually, things got better.
Life After PDA Burnout: Our New Normal
Little by little, things started to shift. The meltdowns that used to last five hours a day dropped to short ones once a week. Hygiene and eating improved. Creativity returned. They wanted to play with friends again, go more places, and connect with us more. For a long time, I was the only one they could tolerate as a caregiver—but slowly, they could handle their dad helping too. Eventually, I could even leave the house again.
By 2024, I had the capacity to start this podcast. We took family trips. I completed two online courses. And by the end of the year, I took on a full-time corporate job (flexible and remote, thankfully). Just a year earlier, I couldn’t leave the house without massive meltdowns—now I’m able to step away regularly for work events.
Life’s not perfect—sleep is still a struggle—but so much has changed for the better.
When we were in the deep end of burnout, we couldn’t even cook for ourselves. We ate out for nearly every meal because it was all we could manage. Now, most meals happen at home. It took a lot of change—shifting expectations, parenting differently, and building a life that actually supports our kids’ needs.
I know not everything we did is accessible to everyone—evaluations, online programs, LEGOs—it’s a lot.
Years ago, I remember hearing a therapist on Instagram talk about intuitive eating and how she just eats whatever she’s in the mood for each day. At the time, I was on a tight budget, with my husband in law school, meal-planning down to the penny just to get by. I remember feeling so defeated by her advice. So I get it.
But even small shifts—lowering demands in ways that work for your life—can help. You got this!
Sending so much love your way.
xx,
Megan
Resources
At Peace Parent’s Free Burnout Masterclass
Community + Connection
This podcast was born out of a yearning for connection and community—so feel free to reach out! I’d love to hear from you:
Spotify - Leave a comment
Instagram: Send me a DM at @maybethiswillbethecure
If you’re enjoying the podcast, you can subscribe or follow along in your podcast app (such as Apple or Spotify) so that you can easily catch the next episode. (It's free!)
If this episode was helpful to you, consider sharing it with a friend, or leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you!
Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast & the show notes is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult your physician before making any changes to your health plan. The host, Megan, is not a healthcare provider. Always seek guidance from a qualified health professional for your individual needs.